"But what can you say," inquired Mrs. Matthau of Mrs. Cooper, to someone who's lost a good lover, weighs two hundred pounds, and is in the dead center of a nervous collapse? I don't think she has been out of bed for amonth. Or changed the sheets. 'Maureen' -- this is what I did tell her -- 'Maureen, I've been in a lot worse condition than you. I remember once when I was going around stealing sleeping pills out of other people's medicine cabinets, saving up to bump myself off. I was in debt up to here, every penny I had was borrowed . . ' "
"Darling," Mrs. Cooper protested with a tiny stammer, "why didn't you come to me?"
"Because you're rich. It's much less difficult to borrow from the poor."
"But, darling . . ."
Mrs. Matthau proceeded."So I said, 'Do you know what I did, Maureen? Broke as I was, I went out and hired myself a personal maid. My fortunes rose, my outlook changed completely, I felt loved and pampered. So if I were you, Maureen, I'd go into hock and hire some very expensive creature to run my bath and turn down the bed.'